Things you will never hear Wasteland NPCs say

[Nyxalinth]

NPC includes anyone or anything you can encounter in the game, like mutants, people, robots, critters, etc. Here goes.

Ranger Center: I think we ought to recognize everyone who participates in a battle, not just the one who gets the killing shot. That way, our Rangers will be much more effective in their duties.

Cyborg: Those meatsacks just took out the Scopritron! It would be most logical to tell everyone to not fuck with them.

Guardians: We're not even using that power armor. If we give it to the Rangers, we can send them into dangerous areas to retrieve even more useless junk for us. Everyone wins!

Bobby: The rangers killed Rex, but they had to do it. He had rabies, and he might have bit Jackie!

Rail Nomad: We ought to warn those nice Rangers to avoid the Clan Topeka tent. They're terribly xenophobic.

Finster: This is crazy. What was I thinking?

Anyone else have one?

[Revolucas]

Prostitute: Don't worry, I'm clean.

Ugly: The bomb code is 8-6-7-5-3-0-9! [He then flips a switch on the bomb and runs off.]

[CaptainPatch]

Dr. Pangloss: "This is the best of all possible worlds."

[Ronin73]

Blood Cultist : "You know if we gave all this blood to doctors we could save the wasteland!'

Needles Bum: "I sure could go for a cup of coffee right now"

Desert Scum and other denizens of Darwin Village: "These Rangers really aren't scumbags"

Various robot police at the Needles police station: "That guy was an asshole, glad you killed him, Rangers"

The Junk Master: "Redhawk never does anything I say. Why did you have to bring him back?!"

Creator of the Bloodstaff verification table: "I can see a million uses for this thing!"

Various walls found throughout the Wastealnd: "These guys really are masochists"

Jerk gang member: "Stop being a jerk!"

Fat Freddy: "Get me a diet soda"

[Wild_Bill_711]

Red Ryder in Highpool -

About time someone taught those juvies something about "respect" & "proper conduct" !!!

[CaptainPatch]

Red Ryder in Highpool -

About time someone taught those juvies something about "respect" & "proper conduct" !!!

Corpses really aren't big on applying the lessons they've been taught. They just sort of lay there and stink up the place.

[Son of Max]

Max: "Thanks for putting me back together. Wait...I'm flat fucking positive I had TWO testicles when I came down here!"

Cochise AI: "Huh? What are you talking about?! I build Ice Cream Bots and BoomBot X-Jamz 2000 Robo DJs! I never built anything called a 'Steel Reever' or 'Sniper Droid'! What kind of lunatic would even dream such things up, let alone build them?!"

Finster: "It started out as an experimental treatment for erectile dysfunction but, as you may have noticed, things have gotten a little out of hand..."

Ranger Center [after you call in for a promotion upon wiping out Spade's Casino, the Savage Village and the Needles PD]:

"You've gotta be kidding. You're a bunch of fucking psychos!"

Ugly Gang Member: "You make a good point, Ranger. Here's my gun. I think I'm going to take some time and reconsider my place in this world and, hopefully, become a better person in the process."

[Decline]

Brother Boris, “It's everywhere you want to be”

[Iiago]

Jackie: "Join the desert rangers? You're crazy, I'm a teenage girl who doesn't even know how to use a gun"

Mushroom cloud member: "You know, I don't want to be bald"

Harry: "Why am I living with a bunch of rabbits?"